Top Ten Piano Bar Requests NOT to Dedicate to Someone Else...

We've all been there - you're with that special someone, for a night out at the piano bar. You want to let them know you're thinking of them, and so you make a request for a song, and you write on the slip that you want to dedicate it to them.

Is it YOUR SONG, or WONDERFUL TONIGHT, or WIND BENEATH MY WINGS???

Nope.

You have something entirely different in mind.

And maybe, you shouldn't.

Here are the top ten song dedications to possibly avoid...

#10 - YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL - James Blunt

Most times, people assume a pretty title means a pretty song, and they stop right there. But when the rest of the song is about a one-night stand that ends less-than-well, you might have to think twice about this one.

#9 - EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE - The Police

Wait just a second. Did he say EVERY breath you take, i'll be watching you??? Really wanna give your significant other a case of the 911's? Other stalker songs to avoid include COME TO MY WINDOW (also known as a list of felonies set to music) and POSSESSION (whose lyrics are actually from a stalker's note to Sarah McLachlan). I feel warm and fuzzy already.

#8 - BITCH - Meredith Brooks

Song about female empowerment? Possibly. When requested by other females. Don't be that guy.

#7 - USED TO LOVE HER - Guns & Roses

Next line - '...but I had to kill her.'

#6 - SHE HATES ME - Puddle of Mudd

Do we really need to go further than the title on this one?

#5 - PARADISE BY THE DASHBOARD LIGHT - Meatloaf

An epic song? Of course. A great singalong? No doubt. A song to dedicate to that future spouse? Umm... Perhaps not. After all, this IS a song about vehicular sex acts, after which the guy wants to break things off. Maybe think twice before exchanging those rings. Or fluids.

#4 - LADY IS A TRAMP - Frank Sinatra

See # 6.

#3 - YOU'RE SO VAIN - Carly Simon

You would be AMAZED how many times this song comes in. Wanna be in the 'no-sex' club for a while? Dedicate this song and you're on your way.

#2 - FAT BOTTOMED GIRLS - Queen

Yea, she's laughing now, in front of these hundred drunk people. Just wait 'til you get home though. For additional examples, see HONKYTONK BADONKADONK, BABY GOT BACK, and BRICK HOUSE.

#1 - ALWAYS A WOMAN TO ME - Billy Joel

If I had a nickel for every groom that thought this would be a great first-dance song, let's just say I'd have quite a few nickels. Once again, get past the sweet-sounding title and look at the first few lines - 'She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes, she can ruin your faith with her casual lies.' ...and do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded...

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